I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
