Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
