i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
it's great music for shaving your balls
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
