I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
