just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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