Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
