I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize