this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
