I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
