look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
