Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
