the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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