He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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