i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
babies were throwing up all over the place
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
The air was thick with penises
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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