Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize