Sponge bath it is.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
You made out with two different species that night
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
