if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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