I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
