you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
