it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I lost the right to judge tonight
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
