So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
