very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
