Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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