didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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