and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
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