I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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