I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
We are two peas in an std pod
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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