its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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