just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
