Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
