he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
