i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
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