If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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