Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
