just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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