how can u be prego again
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
