i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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