i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
