Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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