Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
