My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Alive.
So much puke
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Randomize
