let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
