Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
