no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
