Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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