My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
