PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Randomize
