its not stalking. its research.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
