Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Randomize
