I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
