Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
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