She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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