we have officially lost it.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
