i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
