Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize