It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
