he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
