clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize