Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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