But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
