There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
