it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
