The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
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