I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
He? As in you personified your dick?
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
