I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
